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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265568">open your heart and conquer your fears</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErjaStark/pseuds/ErjaStark'>ErjaStark</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pepperony Bingo 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Break Up, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Jealousy, Love, Minor Injuries, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Whump, so much love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:53:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,143</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265568</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErjaStark/pseuds/ErjaStark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He isn’t entirely sure how he got himself into this situation but by the time he notices how poorly planned out it all is, it’s way too late to back out of it. The initial damage is done already. </p><p>-</p><p>This time, Tony’s jealousy takes it one step too far and now he needs to deal with the consequences.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Rhodey" Rhodes &amp; Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pepperony Bingo 2020 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1672906</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>open your heart and conquer your fears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/HogwartsToAlexandria/gifts">HogwartsToAlexandria</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title: open your heart and conquer your fears<br/>Collaborator Name: ErjaStark<br/>Card Number: 3121<br/>Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265568/chapters/55714606<br/>Square Filled (Letter/number AND prompt): T4 - Angst<br/>Ship/Main Pairing: Tony/Pepper<br/>Rating: T<br/>Major Tags: Angst, Jealousy, Insecurity, Arguing<br/>Summary: This time, Tony’s jealousy takes it one step too far and now he needs to deal with the consequences.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sometimes, Tony thinks it would be best if he just kept his mouth shut, to be quiet and not allow every single thought inside his head to pour out through his mouth the second it crosses his mind.<br/>
<br/>
This is one of those times. </p><p>He isn’t entirely sure how he got himself into this situation but by the time he notices how poorly planned out it all is, it’s way too late to back out of it. The initial damage is already done. </p><p>Then again, it’s kind of her fault as well. He’ll take part of the blame, sure, but not all of it. If she had simply told him about this before and hadn't risked Tony finding out by pure accident, this could have been avoided. </p><p>Tony knows better than to say <em> that </em>out loud though. </p><p>“I’m just saying,” he states again, trying to remain as calm as possible. “That it’s a little weird you didn’t tell me about this.”<br/>
<br/>
The woman in front of him crosses her arms. “I didn’t know I had to.” While Tony does his best not to let his anger show, she gives him no such courtesy. The fire inside her piercing blue eyes reflects exactly just how pissed off she is. “What’s next? I need to ask you if it’s alright that I leave the house at all?” </p><p>He rolls his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous.” </p><p>Apparently, that is the wrong thing to say. “I’m the one being ridiculous?” Pepper doesn’t get hysterical, not unless it’s for a damn good reason. The example of Happy driving over and over again into an electric whip-wielding psychopath comes to mind. But it doesn’t happen in situations like this when it’s just the two of them. </p><p>Her voice right now is the closest thing to hysterical that Tony has ever heard from her during one of their fights. “Yes, you’re being ridiculous right now.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest, feeling the need to shield himself. He hates when they are fighting. “Making me out to be some control freak that I’m <em> not </em>.” </p><p>Pepper lets out a frustrated laugh. “Are you serious? This whole argument is about your hurt pride.” His lips twitch upwards. “All because I didn’t tell you that I was meeting someone after work.” See, when she says it like this, it makes him out to be an asshole. </p><p>Which isn’t the case. He’s not being an ass about this. He’s right. He’s totally right.</p><p>“Well, why didn’t you?”  </p><p>Her nostrils flare, something that only happens when she’s really angry. “I don’t need to ask for your permission to meet friends, Tony.” </p><p>“I never said you do.” Not directly, at least. “But don’t you think it would be appropriate to tell me that you’ll be home a little later than usual? Maybe I had something planned for the two of us.” </p><p>This time, Pepper’s laugh seems genuine. And just a tad bit cruel. “Oh, yes. How could I be so inconsiderate? Of course you’d like to know when I’m home.”<br/>
<br/>
Tony’s own temper is on a steady rise and he balls his hands into fists to keep himself from throwing something at the wall. “What the hell is that supposed to mean now?” he grits out between clenched teeth. Why is she being such a giant jerk?<br/>
<br/>
She doesn’t answer. Instead, she asks a question of her own. “Tell me when I normally get home from work.” Tony frowns at her, not sure what she’s playing at. He remains silent but Pepper doesn’t falter. “Tell me.”<br/>
<br/>
Tony thinks about it. He thinks and thinks but truth be told, he’s always in his workshop when she comes home and time just works differently down there. Jarvis informs him of Pepper’s return if he isn’t muted so Tony can concentrate, but he never gives a time. That seems highly unnecessary. </p><p>It takes him too long to come up with a wild guess. “Exactly,” Pepper murmurs and now she doesn’t sound angry, just… tired. “If I wouldn’t come down to drag you away from your dozen projects, you’d never realize that I was home at all.” </p><p>It’s an incredibly unfair statement in Tony’s eyes. Yes, he’s been a little distracted lately and yes, he spends a lot of time down in the workshop tinkering. He grimaces and stops his train of thought, realizing that it would go on for quite some time if he didn’t.</p><p>“So, that’s what this is really about? You’re angry at me for ignoring you.” </p><p>“I don’t know,” Pepper replies and it’s a little frightening how unsure she sounds. “You being in your workshop for most of the day has become such an ordinary thing, it’s almost like it’s normal at this point.” Her eyes narrow. “But you having no trust in me isn’t and I won’t stand here and let myself be accused of ridiculous things.”<br/>
<br/>
“I trust you,” Tony says quickly before she has the chance to really get going. “It’s those guys that I don’t trust.”<br/>
<br/>
“Those other guys? Do you mean my <em> friends </em>?” </p><p>He realizes too late that he’s talked himself into a corner and no matter what he says now, she’ll get mad over it. Then again, she was already angry before so how much more harm can he do?<br/>
<br/>
“They aren’t <em> my </em> friends. And you’re you, Pepper. Intelligent. Beautiful. Perfect.” The annoyed expression on her face doesn’t fade, his compliment not working. “Can you honestly blame me for being worried?”<br/>
<br/>
“Yes!” Wow. Alright, that's not the answer Tony expects but it’s been a shitty day overall. Why not continue it just like that? “Because it shows that you don’t trust me, Tony. No matter what you say, you wouldn’t be worried if you did.” He opens his mouth, a retort on the tip of his tongue. “You should choose your next words very carefully.”</p><p>Her voice tells him that she isn’t kidding. The problem is that he always has problems with being serious in these moments. “Or what? It seems that no matter what I say, you're not going to listen anyway.”</p><p>They are both quiet for the longest time, just glaring at each other. There's always tension when it comes to the two of them but most of the time it's the kind that excites Tony and makes him want to jump her. This, right now, is most certainly <em>not </em>that. </p><p>Then, at last, “I’m done with this. I’m going home.” </p><p>He narrows his eyes. “You <em> are </em> home, Pepper.” It’s been nearly a year since she moved in with him. Alright, <em> technically </em>that exact word has not fallen until now. She still has her apartment but he can’t remember the last time that she’s actually been there for anything more than picking something up to bring it to the mansion. </p><p>“I’ll spend the night at my place. Give you some time to reflect.” His mouth is already opened, ready to ask what he is supposed to reflect on but Pepper, efficient as ever, answers the question before he can even ask it. “I think you need to figure out what you want from this, Tony.” </p><p>“<em>This? </em>” he repeats, slightly confused and majorly annoyed. “What do you mean with ‘this’?” </p><p>“This.” If she doesn’t stop sounding like she’s being forced to talk to a stupid toddler, this fight will escalate even further. “Our relationship.” And those 2 words are enough to take every bit of wind out of his sails.</p><p>Tony stares at her in disbelief. “Are you serious?” But it’s a stupid question to ask. Of course she’s serious. Pepper doesn’t joke about things like this. Hell, not even he would joke about such a topic. “Wow, okay.” This isn’t how he had imagined this day to go. “Yeah, sure. Whatever.” He pushes his hands into his pockets. “Fine.” </p><p>He forces his eyes to stay on her face, to hold her gaze. For one, he doesn’t want her pity and secondly, it’s her choice that got them here. He won’t do her the favour of allowing her to back down now. If she wants space for tonight and ruin the evening he had planned for them, so be it. </p><p>Third, part of him hopes that she’ll take it all back, admit that she overreacted and there is nothing to argue about.<br/>
<br/>
She doesn’t, apparently not ready to be the one to give in. Not this time.</p><p>“By the way, you might want to check your phone.” She’s gone, slamming the door behind her,  before Tony can ask what the hell that’s supposed to mean. His phone… he doesn’t even know where his damn phone is. Probably somewhere in the workshop. He remembers putting it on silence after it had annoyed him one too many times. </p><p>Indeed, the phone is where Tony had abandoned it hours ago, a dried smear of grease covering the screen. With still no clue as to why he’s supposed to focus on this of all things after the fight Pepper and he just had, he picks it up with caution. </p><p>The dirty screen lights up, revealing a single message.</p><p>
  <em> One new voicemail.  </em>
</p><p>His fingers hover over the phone, itching to press play while also fearing the result it will bring him. He’s still right, he’s still not the person in the wrong. This message can be from anyone, Rhodey, Happy… alright, he doesn’t have any more friends. </p><p>To Tony's dismay, the message isn’t from either of them. </p><p>
  <em> “Hey, Tony. I guess you’re busy with whatever it is you’re currently working on. I’m not even sure that you’re going to notice but I’ll be home a little later than usual. My brother just called to tell me he’s in town for the next 2 days and I’m meeting him for coffee after I’ve finished wrapping everything up here. Please do me a favour and don’t blow anything up until I get home. Love you.”  </em>
</p><p>Pepper’s voice cuts off, leaving Tony alone in his quiet workshop. Dum-E is softly beeping in one of the corners, apparently trying to clean up whatever mess he just caused but he’s not paying the bot any attention. </p><p>No, he’s busy mentally slapping himself for being such a fucking idiot. <em> Her brother</em>. Pepper had been meeting her brother, not some random guy - and their entire date night has been ruined over this. </p><p>Sudden tiredness overcomes Tony, as if his body only now realizes that it’s gone a good 30 hours without any decent rest. He stumbles a few steps towards the nearest chair to let himself rather ungracefully fall onto it.</p><p>Well, Pepper could have cleared some obvious misunderstandings up right from the start. It’s still not Tony’s fault that she got so worked up over him being concerned. It’s his right to ask questions when he feels something’s off. </p><p>Still, as Tony sits alone in his workshop and listens to the recording over and over again, he can’t help but feel like a bigger jerk each time it starts over. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Rhodey comes over the next day.</p><p>He knows that something is wrong from the moment that Jarvis opens the door and not Pepper. Usually, she greets him and takes a few minutes out of her day to catch up with him before allowing Tony to hog all of their friend’s time.</p><p>Today, Tony watches him approach the couch on his own.</p><p>“Where’s Pepper?” Rhodey asks as a greeting, causing Tony’s mood to drop even further down the abyss. He’s invited him over to forget about this whole ordeal, if only for a few hours. </p><p>“Not here,” Tony snaps back, well aware that his reaction will only cause Rhodey to ask more unnecessary questions. He shuffles around until he’s able to push one of the two beers over the flat surface of the glass table, an attempt to distract his friend from the accidental outburst. “I got us some food as well. Figured you’d be hungry.” </p><p>Thankfully, the other man does nothing but raise one of his eyebrows at Tony before taking the bait, reaching out to grab the offered bottle. “I hope this is a light. You know that I’m flying out first thing tomorrow.” He sits down next to Tony and wastes no time, immediately bringing one of the takeout containers in front of him. </p><p>Tony gives a dismissive wave in answer to Rhodey questioning glance and watches quietly as his friend opens the box to reveal the still steaming food inside. It looks and smells delicious, which is the exact reason he ordered it - but the usual growling of his stomach fails to appear. </p><p>He hasn’t had a proper bite to eat all day and still isn’t hungry. Tony lets out a frustrated sigh and starts drowning down his own beer, this one thankfully not a light. The entire thing is gone with 3 large gulps. </p><p>Out of the corner of his eyes, he notices Rhodey observing him while stuffing food inside his mouth. Well, at least one of them is enjoying the meal that should have filled both their stomachs. It’s not much but it’s a small consolation. </p><p>“It <em> is </em> a light,” Tony remarks drily when the other man gives his beer yet another suspicious look. “Believe it or not but I do not plan on filling you up the night before you have to leave.” Even though <em> one </em>beer surely couldn’t do that much harm to a man of Rhodey's calibre. </p><p>His friend responds with a snort, followed by a, “Wouldn’t be the first time.” But he takes a sip nonetheless, apparently pleased with the result. Tony has half a mind to argue that the last time that happened was well over 10 years ago during their MIT era - but he’s gotten too little sleep in the past days to truly commit. </p><p>Instead, he sits back and listens to Rhodey talk about what’s been happening in his life lately, how some people back at the base are getting on his nerves and various ideas he has about improving the suit, all the while he’s happily eating the food Tony provided them. </p><p>It’s nice, he likes spending time with his friend where there is nothing to do but sit and talk - or it would be if Tony’s thoughts could stop straying away from the conversation and towards less pleasant places. </p><p>But it’s of no use, no matter how often he tells himself to get a grip. Flashes of red and orange keep on appearing behind his eyes whenever he blinks until he’s about ready to go insane. </p><p>To his credit, Rhodey only brings up the obvious elephant in the room when his meal is long finished. Tony’s own container of food still sits where it’s been all evening, unopened and probably cold at this point. </p><p>“Is there something on your mind?”<br/>
<br/>
Tony gives him a look. “You wouldn’t ask like that if you hadn’t already drawn your own conclusion, Rhodes. No point in me actually answering.” </p><p>“Alright, fair enough.” The other man turns to face Tony fully. “Is there something you want to talk about?” </p><p>Now, <em> that </em>is a question that bears no trouble answering. “Nope.” He gets up, walking over to the bar to pour himself a scotch. As nice as the beer has been, he’ll need something stronger to get through the night. </p><p>When he returns with his spoils, Rhodey is fixing him with a stare that is screaming of disapproval. Tony shrugs and lets himself fall onto the couch again. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” </p><p>“Doesn’t look like nothing,” the other man replies, gesturing towards the half-filled glass. “I thought you stopped drinking this kind of stuff.” Tony wants to point out that the arc reactor is affecting his heart, not his liver and that he can drink whatever the hell he wants. </p><p>What he actually does is shrug and bring the glass to his lips. The liquor burns but he’s had the entirety of last night to get used to it and barely grimaces. He doesn’t turn when he speaks, directing his words at the opened space in front of him. </p><p>“Can you stop staring at me like that? It’s making me uncomfortable.” </p><p>“You don’t look so good.”</p><p>A sharp laugh leaves him, echoing in the room. “Why, thank you, darling. Let me just say that you look as radiant as ever.” It’s a poor attempt to change the direction of the conversation but his options are few and poor to begin with.</p><p>“Tony,” is all his friend says and sounds like he’s done playing this game - not that he had been very into it from the beginning. </p><p>With a sigh, Tony decides that he’s lost. Who knows, maybe it'll do some good to talk about it. “Pepper and I had a fight.” </p><p>Rhodey, his ever-helpful anchor, doesn’t beat around the bush. “What did you do?”</p><p>“Nothing!” His friend gives him a blank stare until Tony caves. “Fine, I might have overreacted and started the whole thing but she’s the one who immediately left without giving me the chance to—.”</p><p>“Hold up,” Rhodey interjects with a more hesitant voice. “She left? As in…” He trails off, leaving Tony to fill in the colourful blank by himself. But he can’t allow his mind to go there, even for just a second.<br/>
<br/>
His voice leaves no room for an argument. “No, she just went back to her apartment last night.” And in the morning, Tony had gotten a very brief and somewhat distant text, notifying him that she won’t return until the end of the week. He has no proof because he hasn’t looked at her calendar in ages but he's sure that her flight to Tokyo had been scheduled for next week. </p><p>“What the hell did you say to make her leave the house? Pepper’s usually so collected when dealing with you.”</p><p>Tony is at a loss when it comes to that question as well. “I don’t know. She came home late and told me she had dinner with someone and I— I guess I drew the wrong conclusion.” </p><p>He hears Rhodey sigh before his friend actually does it. “And you being you, I imagine you were very vocal about it. Am I right?” </p><p>How badly Tony wishes he could say ‘No’ and not lie. “You could say it like that, yes.” Absentmindedly, he brings his glass back to his lips, shocked to discover that it’s already empty. He’d get up to refill if he wasn’t so scared of Rhodey smacking him. </p><p>The other man is quiet for a moment, finger stroking his chin. “Still, your jealousy isn’t that surprising, at least not to me. I don’t see what made Pepper walk out of the door.” </p><p>“Well,” Tony scratches the back of his neck. “I kind of accused her of going behind my back and not telling me when she had actually left me a voicemail.” </p><p>“Tony—”</p><p>He can’t let Rhodey disrupt him again, otherwise he’ll lose the courage to admit all of it. “Yeah, turns out the guy she was meeting was her brother.” His friend’s pained groan fits the situation perfectly. “Something she failed to tell me during the argument by the way.” </p><p>A lot of things wouldn’t have happened if she had just cleared the air right at the start - and that’s a fact. Sadly, Rhodey doesn’t seem to agree with him on that.</p><p>“She left you a voicemail, Tony. That should have been enough.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest and Tony is taken back to that one time in MIT when he accidentally set fire to their room - which happened <em>one </em> time. “Nevermind the fact that you shouldn’t have been so suspicious in the first place. Seriously man, it’s <em> Pepper</em>.”<br/>
<br/>
“I know!”<em>This </em>is the exact reason Tony doesn’t want to talk about the issue. He knows that he’s messed up, there is no reason to be reminded of that over and over again. It’s not going to help the situation. </p><p>Rhodey doesn’t let him off the hook but his voice does get softer, as if that is any consolation when he’s still talking about this topic. “If you know then why did you do it?” </p><p>“Because I’m an idiot? Is that what you want to hear? I fucked up, alright? There, I said it. Happy?” His friend looks surprised at the admission which only pisses Tony off even more. Does Rhodey honestly think that he hasn’t spent the entire night telling himself that over and over again? </p><p>“Did you tell Pepper all of this?”</p><p><em> Fuck it</em>, Tony thinks and gets up to pour himself another drink. He’s not going to do this sober. No one can expect that of him. He only speaks up when he’s in the middle of refilling the glass. “No, because she didn't give me a chance. Before I knew it, the discussion wasn’t just about my jealousy anymore but how I didn’t trust her and how I spend way too much time in the workshop.” </p><p>He glances at Rhodey who is watching him with a cautious look in his eyes. Tony clenches his jaw and rips his attention away from him and back to his glass. “Oh, fuck off.”</p><p>“I didn’t say anything.”<br/>
<br/>
“You don’t have to. It’s written all over your face. She’s right, Tony. You should listen to her, Tony. You’re an asshole, Tony. You don’t deserve her, Tony.”</p><p>“Woah, man. I’d never say—”</p><p>“But you should!” His breathing is faster than it should be and Tony knows it. He also knows that he needs to stop speaking about this before some other things are said. “Anyway, she left with the request that I should think about what I want from our relationship.”</p><p>He takes a large sip from his glass and hisses when the liquor runs down his throat. Alright, maybe he’s lied earlier, maybe he isn’t used to the burning after all. Whatever, it’ll be fine. A couple more and he won’t be able to feel it anymore. A lot more and he won’t be able to feel anything at all.</p><p>That sounds intriguing. </p><p>With slightly less steady steps, Tony makes his way back to the couch. Rhodey is silent, only pushes the untouched food container in his direction. Food isn’t what’s on his mind right now and he’s afraid that everything he’ll consume will find its way into the inside of a toilet bowl before the night is over.</p><p>Still, Tony opens the damned thing and takes a few bites, if only as a thank you to Rhodey since he apparently dropped the topic. Tony eats in silence while the other man turns on the TV to give them some background noise. </p><p>It’s good and he's grateful for the meaningless chatter of whatever show is playing right now. His brain is still going crazy but that’s fine as well. It won’t have the ability to do that for much longer.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure that you already know this but I think Pepper’s right,” his friend says after god knows how long, pulling Tony out of his thoughts. “You need to figure out what you want from her.” </p><p>Tony huffs and stands up. The clock on the wall tells him hours have passed and that it’s time for Rhodey to go home. He has to be up early in the morning and Tony doesn’t want his best friend to be mad at him as well. “You better get going, Platypus. Don’t wanna miss your big mission in the morning. Those recruits will be lost without you there.” </p><p>Rhodey gives him an amused smile. “Well, this has got to be the first time that you express interest in me making it to work on time. Happens at just the right moment, hm?” </p><p>Tony doesn’t allow himself to fall for his bait. “Are you kidding me? Our country needs you to keep it in shape, Colonel. I will never, ever take that lightly.” </p><p>“You’re full of shit, Stark,” Rhodey says but he’s still smiling so Tony knows he doesn’t mean it. Alright, he <em> does </em>mean it but the important thing is that he isn’t bothered by it. After all, there is a reason that he is Tony's best friend.</p><p>Rhodey's smile only drops when both of them are at the door, saying their goodbyes. “I was being serious back there. You need to figure your shit out, Tony. Don’t make Pepper the punching back of all your insecurities. That woman is the best thing that ever happened to you.”</p><p>His words sting, even more so when they are the last thing that Rhodey tells him before leaving him alone in his giant mansion. It’s a big house but not big enough for Tony to avoid his problems. </p><p>He sighs and walks over to the bar. </p><p>Their conversation continues to haunt him throughout the entire night.</p>
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